Long time, no post, eh? Sorry, I just haven’t had anything much to say that isn’t whiny and conflicted. No one needs to listen to read any more of that.

Yesterday was my nutrition seminar–in preparation for the gastric bypass. I’m a little confused–not by the actual eating plan which is fairly straightforward–but by the portions. Of course it’s low fat and low sugar. Both fat and sugar cause problems post-surgically. I understand that and I accept that I will need to either completely eliminate fat & sugar from my diet or have them only in moderation and probably not for at least a year.

What confuses me is that I’m supposed to adapt now to very nearly the quantity of food I’ll be eating post-surgically. Listen kids, if I could have survived on a self-deprivation diet, I would have done so a long time ago. I’d have saved myself all the pain and humiliation of walking around this size for so long.

The diet is very similar to the old, basic Weight Watchers Plan except for one thing: Weight Watchers always said you could eat all the vegetables you want. This plan didn’t. I have an idea I will need to adapt the plan and just fudge on my “food diaries.” Yes, I have to write down everything I eat and I have to plan out all my meals. Of course this is also one of the pillars of WW, but this is the one that always causes me to stumble. Planning and writing down every morsel leads to me obsessing about food.

Crap. Well they did say I couldn’t gain any weight between now and the surgery, but it’s okay if I don’t lose. Hell, maybe I should just follow the old WW plan and do the best I can.