I haven’t blogged about this subject very much. Frankly, even though my weight has been THE defining issue of my life, I’ve mostly avoided dealing with it in a straightforward manner. I make jokes. I refer to myself as “FatLady.” I’ve learned to poke fun of myself before anyone else can. That’s nothing new–certain notable comedians have been doing it for a long time. I’m not as good at it as they are of course but it’s the same principle nevertheless.

Since I’m mostly anonymous here, it’s been easy for me to say “fat” without defining the…um…parameters. I’m not that brave. Even among strangers. Suffice it to say that I am most certainly a candidate for weight loss surgery. After a conversation with my doctor a few months ago, he submitted a request to OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Plan) to get me approved for a bariatric surgery. I expected it would be months…or years before I heard from anyone. I expected to be run through some bureaucratic mill–subjected to some humiliating personal interview by some [probably skinny] twit to ascertain if I truly was such a cow that I required this expensive surgery. I mean after all the aggravation I went through just trying to get an appointment with an OB/GYN, I just naturally assumed there was a whole new gauntlet of annoyance waiting for me.

So far I’ve been wrong. Someone from Dr P’s office called me about 2 days after he and I talked about it. They said he had filled out the forms and all I needed to do was come in and sign them. I did. I watched the woman fax the forms to OHIP. That was just before the Christmas holidays. I was very surprised when I came home one day back in January and there was a message from the Bariatric Center in Rochester. When I returned the call they scheduled me for the first step in the process which they refer to as a group educational seminar.

That’s coming up on Thursday of this week.

I’ve tried to do my research. I learned that that doctor I will be seeing, Dr. William O’Malley is associated with this clinic. His biographical page says he’s done over 1000 of these surgeries and he’s been on Oprah. Well alright then.

I’ve read the entire website. I understand they perform only ONE of the bariatric procedures–the Roux-en-Y, which I also think is the only procedure currently approved by OHIP. As I said before, I think the procedure is a little creepy but then again the whole idea of surgical procedures is a little creepy to me–that’s just me–no judgement intended and if I decide to go through with it I guess I’ll have to get past my squeamishness.

What I can’t find any information is on the subject of the psychological aspects–what happens IN MY MIND after the surgery is done and I’m home? Food has always been a big part of my life. Food is central to all family gatherings. Food was my friend and lover through all the years I was alone. Food is my comfort. I eat when I’m happy; I eat when I’m sad. I eat when I’m lonely; I eat when I’m with friends and family. I eat when I’m hungry–and I’m hungry A LOT, but I also eat when I’m not hungry. Cooking is also my main creative outlet. I’ve been cooking since I was about 14. I’m pretty darned good at it if I do say so myself. One of my favorite websites is Epicurious.com. What am I going to do? How will I celebrate? How will I console myself? How will I satisfy my creative urges?

I have a feeling the surgery is going to be the easiest part.