After I posted about my possible ADD the other day, I got to thinking: what a freaking hypochondriac! Good Grief! The other side of this coin is that perhaps I suffer from mental clutter or “Brain Fog” brought on by my lifestyle and my sometimes wrong-headed thinking.

For a little background–I’ve been unemployed now for nearly three years. I got married; I moved from the USA to Canada and I came on what is known as a “visitor record.” This meant that I could not legally work in this country. While Hubby went off to work every day, I took on the role of housewife. I was also supposed to be completing the application forms for my Permanent Resident card. I spent the first couple months trying to turn a bachelor pad into a home–which involved a lot of cleaning and re-arranging–but if you know me, you know I didn’t kill myself at it either. I guess you could say I took my sweet time.

I will freely admit that I procrastinated on filling out the forms. Also there were other things to do–fingerprints and forms and money to be sent to the FBI; health exams, chest x-rays and the like. I didn’t understand some of the questions–and then figured out I was using the wrong application form–some of that mental confusion. When I get confused–or more accurately when there is UNCERTAINTY in my life, I tend to cease all forward movement for awhile. I go inside my head and think, and think, and think myself into a circle of indecision.
So that’s what I did with the applications: What should have taken me two, three, maybe four months to complete too me about 10 months. Then it took the government another 10 months to write back and ask for some additional information. I did provide that information quickly but they took an additional four months before they approved my application and I became landed.

In all that waiting, I ran out of things to do. I sat down. I think I went into a sort of a mental hibernation and I’m not sure I’m out of it yet. Yes, I’ve always had a problem concentrating. I was not exaggerating about that. But I wonder if this isn’t a little something different. I think I’ve let myself go to pot–mentally as well as physically. Sometimes I don’t leave the house for days. That’s not good. I watch too much TV. That’s not good either.

I need to get myself busy, don’t I? Improve the old Brain Age before I get senile or something worse.
I did begin a physical uncluttering of the apartment about a year ago and I’ve made some big strides in that regard–with some backsliding. But I’ll tell you about that later….